It is so difficult to know how to put my thoughts about motherhood into words. Becoming a mother has changed how I view absolutely everything in life. If I can be real for a quick minute;
I have never loved someone this way. I have never felt this type of love/responsibility for someone. What happens to her, is because of me (and her dad too, of course). That is pretty intense. To be THAT responsible for something. I have never experienced anything remotely close to that before, and even though it’s crazy-stupid-scary if you really think about it, but it’s also just what it is to be a mom. So somehow it’s ok. I can somehow handle it. And truly, I feel like this is the only thing I can imagine doing with my life right now. She is my world, and will be the best part of it from now till forever.
And then it just always makes me think of my own mom. And what she has done for me and my three siblings. It is humbling to think of what she has had to do for us, and what she continues to do for us. She is always there for me. Always. I think she can almost read my mind sometimes.
She just knows when to show up. When to hug. When to laugh. When to cry. And also when to be my strength and not cry. Be my rock. She blows me away with her un-ending love for her children, and all I can do is to try to be that for Ari as she goes through her life.
So, here’s to my mom who is halfway across the world right now backpacking Europe with my dad. I love you. I appreciate you. Forever.
And to my own little bug… words can’t describe how important and valuable you are to me and your dad. We will do all we can to protect you, but also show you all this world has to offer, because I know you will have so many amazing things to offer back.
photo cred: Olga Litmanova